The last week has been really tough for me. So I am going to vent...if your looking for a happy go lucky post, stop reading...cause this is not going to be pretty...I am frustrated, so frustrated...
First of all I got laid off of my job in Georgia because of the economy, so now when I am home (however long it might be), I don't have a job. So if you know of anybody who is looking for work for probably 6 weeks this summer, please let me know!!! I'll do most anything!
Second, BYU-I is DUMB DUMB DUMB, I can't emphasize it enough...DUMB I SAY...DUMB... So Ryan applied for BYU-I for the Fall/Winter track and I was going to get onto fast grad so we could be out here together. Well first of all BYU-I was not helpful to Ryan in figuring out his classes and such, and second of all they're saying that I can't get onto fast grad. I was going to go home this summer and work at the job that I don't have anymore and do my internship with them, but now that Ryan is in the pictures plans changed. So I was going to finish up my classes as soon as possible so I could do my internship next summer where ever we might be. But Brother Bell (Business Management Chair) said that I can't do my internship last, I have to do it before I finish my classes. Well in order for me to do that would mean that I am away from Ryan this Fall and next Summer, and I am sorry but that isn't even an option in my book. I will drop out of school before I spend another semester away from him. One of the only logical options in this case is for me to find a pre-approved internship for NEXT summer that he will pass off on before he signs my fast grad papers...so Brother Bell is on my 'people who are dead to me' list...
Thirdly, why is it if something is right, and you know it's right, why is it things just don't work out? Why does Heavenly Father have to have different plans for you than you're expecting? Why does he make us work so hard for something so wonderful?
I have a testimony of the gospel, and I keep telling myself that I know it's all going to work out for the better, I just don't know how, and that is so hard for me to not know. Just please pray for me that doors will open and that things will work out the way Heavenly Father intended for them to. And pray that I will have the determination to finish school, because right now I have none, dropping out is sounding better and better, and I am willing to do that if it comes to that, because I refuse to be away from Ryan any longer, it's not even an option, I won't even consider it. My education is important to me, and I cherish it, and I want to finish, but I am not willing to make the sacrifice Brother Bell is asking me to make for it.
14 years ago
6 comments:
I heard a quote once... "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end".
Take it as you wish. Good luck, Kara!
Sometimes life stinks. It will get better, it just doesn't feel that way right now. I will be praying that things will fall into place for you.
An obsticle has been placed in your path and you WILL ponder and pray and think about a way to climb this wall. And because it is important to you, you WILL do it! Climb that wall Kara! Hint: doing it with faith and hard work rather than sheer will-power is a lot easier! Ryan will be impressed when he sees how well you can handle this! Go girl, and put the Lord on your side (well, He is already there, just be sure to thank Him. That's right - thank Him and ask for His help)! Look for things to learn along the way! Love ya!
I don't have any wise words of wisdom for you Kara, but I want to say I'm sorry things aren't working out the way you'd planned, and I love you, and I will DEFINITELY be praying for you!! <3
Keep your chin up, the sun will come up tomorrow, if it's right then you will know what you need to do to make it happen. Hang in there, you have a lot of people praying for you.
we will for sure pray for you. do you think that maybe you will transfer to where ryan is? or is that not really an option?
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